A friend and I were talking one evening about motherhood, and she, not yet a mother, brought up something she had noticed already among other moms–“mom-shaming”. I assured her it does exist more often than people will admit, and yes, even I, had been a recipient of the dreaded.

For those of you unaware of what “mom-shaming” is, it is this idea that everyone else knows how you should be raising your own children, and if you are somehow not raising your children the way others think you should be, then you are considered an “unqualified mother” to say it politely.

Well, I am here to assure you, regardless of the noise of these opinionated mothers, your worth and qualifications as a mother are not determined by the crowds.

If I have learned anything throughout my life history of other women attempting to devalue my worth, it’s that women and men alike, do not know how to handle disagreements or, if we want to get even more personal, their own insecurities. Whatever the reasoning, we know that this behavior is simply a result of living without the freedom of Christ.

For instance, I have been questioned, confronted, doubted, and shamed as a mother by both strangers and family. So, if you think I am addressing this topic without experience, think again. However, my reactions and responses weren’t the typical responses I had seen played out prior to my experiences. I mostly witnessed the recipients become defensive, angry, insecure, humiliated, and discouraged, as if somehow these mom-bullies were right in any way. I, on the other hand, had spent enough time with the Lord growing in parenting that I was able to shrug my shoulders, cut-off the noise, and move on with my life–except this one particular time.

On this particular day, a mom had asked for experiences of other moms who transitioned their children to cow’s milk before the recommended one year mark. This mom had nursed as much as she could and really didn’t want to begin formula so close to her daughter’s first birthday. Since both of my children transitioned to cow’s milk early, I wanted to encourage this mom who seemed to be struggling with her “mom-image” amongst other opinionated mothers. So, I shared my successful experience with this woman and reaffirmed her ability to make the best decisions for her children, whatever she decided to do.

Without hesitation, another mom chimed in on my experience and told me never to share my experience with other moms because that would encourage others to make the same mistakes I did as a mom.

I simply responded with, “I appreciate your opinion, but I am confident enough as a mother to know what is best for my child and will continue to share my experiences to encourage other moms.”

I thought it was over, but apparently it wasn’t. I’ll save you all the details of this aggressive effort to reiterate this particular mom’s opinion about me; however, it was enough to bother me.

I put my phone away and went directly to the Lord, knowing He would know how to handle this situation better than I would because by this point, I wanted to throw all self-control out the window. As I am talking with Jesus, He asked me, “What do you want to do?”

I remember being so flustered because my integrity and ability as a mom had just been harassed by a complete stranger in front of a vulnerable mom as well as others. Finally, I said, “Well, I trust the decisions I have made, I know my kids are healthy, I know You have been with me the entire time, and I know I have nothing to worry about. But, I still feel weird.”

He responded, “I am with you, do what you are thinking.”

So, I ran to the store that day, grabbed the smallest jar of formula, and headed home. When it was time for my daughter’s next bottle, I mixed her a bottle of warm formula (the expensive kind, because, why not?) and gave it to her. She gagged, spit it up, cried, and refused to drink it. So, I waited a little longer until she became even hungrier and gave it to her again. Same thing, except this time, she screamed.

As I was rinsing out her bottle and getting her a bottle of cow’s milk, I felt this rush of adrenaline come over me. Then, I heard the Lord ask me, “How do you feel?” And truth was, I felt amazing. It was the assurance I needed from God to remind me that there is no other way to raise a child except with Him, and He has equipped me to do so. He knows what is best for my children, and He has given me the ability to partner with Him with confidence.

I gave my daughter her new bottle of cow’s milk and gleamed with joy as I watched her drink the entire bottle with satisfaction. I knew in that moment that the decisions I will make for my children moving forward will never be because of the opinions of others again.

I have access to the Perfect Father in Heaven Who is absolutely capable of teaching and instructing me as a parent. And, when you enter into a relationship with God, you, too, have that same access. We don’t have to tune our ears to the noise going on around us, but we do need to tune our ears to the Voice of God when it comes to any decisions we are faced to make–especially when it involves our children.

What does that look like? It looks like designating alone time with the Father to familiarize yourself to His voice. It looks like surrendering your own desires and syncing your heart with Him. It looks like throwing away every mom-related article, book, or podcast you’ve ever purchased and tuning into the Living Word of God.

We need to remind ourselves daily that there is a God who loves our children more than we do and He created each child differently. It is important, too, to understand that the only way we can confidently and powerfully know our children’s best interests is in partnership with God. There is no solution that will accommodate every child’s needs alike, but there is a God who knows the solutions that will best accommodate each individual child- including ours.

We can trust God has their best interests in mind at all times, regardless of the noise or opinions of others, and we can rest in the freedom of letting Him call the shots.