Moms,

Do you ever feel guilty for taking time for yourself? I used to envy the singles I knew who were brave and adventurous—not afraid to take chances on themselves. It seemed as if they could just pick up and travel anywhere they wanted, eager to experience the spontaneous adventure that was waiting for them.

I even envied my friends who would proudly boast about their two hour long bubble bath that alleviated their stress and helped them relax in solitude. Bubble bath? What is a bubble bath when you’re a mom?

As a mom, we aren’t presented with opportunities like these as often, if at all. Or, maybe we do, but we feel so restricted by our circumstances, endless to do lists, and unpredictable needs that we pass up every opportunity to splurge a little on ourselves.

I once believed that I was too needed as a mom to take time for myself. I wasn’t sure if my family would know how to function without me. My kids needed me at every hour of the day, or so it seemed. My husband needed me to tell him where my daughter’s diapers were, or how much medicine my son needed each evening. I was convinced that taking time for me was both unrealistic and selfish. How could I indulge in a few hours away by myself at the expense of my family?

I never had anyone tell me it was OK to take time to regroup and refresh. On the contrary, I was judged each time I mentioned my desire for a weekend getaway. I felt guilty, and the opinions of those closest to me confirmed I was right to feel that way.

It wasn’t until I felt so overwhelmed, full of anxiety, and desperate for time alone that I asked God how He felt about me taking some time for myself. To my surprise, He reminded me of the moments Jesus retreated to the mountain by Himself to pray. It wasn’t just once in a while, either. Jesus “often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (Luke 5:16). Often.

He needed solitude, too.

I immediately felt the sigh of relief release me from the bondage of guilt I had experienced for so long. As moms, it is OK to seek time alone, however it may look to you. I have met moms who withdraw to their “art room” to spend a few hours a week painting alone. I have also met moms who join together and take a “Mom’s Retreat” for a weekend once a year. I have also met moms who splurge on pedicures and manicures once a month in order to embrace who they are as individuals.

Our children demand a lot of our time; our husbands also deserve our attention, but if we are not taking the time to withdraw in order to be refreshed, we may end up shoulder deep in anxiety, stress, depression, exhaustion, and frustration. We, as moms, have one of the most beautiful responsibilities in the world–taking care of the rising generation. We nurture, teach, train, and comfort our vulnerable and innocent children so they are able to become all they were created to be. But, statistics have shown, the biggest impact our children have in their lives, are the lives of their parents. Children learn by watching, not hearing, and if we are going to be able to live lives that demonstrate our identity in Jesus, we cannot get caught up in our identity as a mom.

God has equipped us with unique gifts, strengths, talents, and perspectives in order that we may glorify Him in every area of our lives. Being a mom is only one of those areas.

Perhaps you have desired to take time for yourself, but like me, have been anything but supported. Let me encourage you to embrace that desire and seek out what it will look like for you to take time to refresh your soul.

Maybe you have been one to believe any time alone is selfish and unrealistic, or maybe you have never desired to be anywhere but with your family. Let me encourage you to embrace your desires as well and seek out what it looks like for you to glorify God where you are.

Our lives and seasons we experience are changing constantly. There isn’t a single person who can truly know your heart except you. My hope is that you embrace what is in your heart, and spend time with God finding the healthy balance of withdrawing to become refreshed, strengthened, and renewed as you pray without ceasing.

If you are struggling to find a few ways to take time for yourself, consider any one of these! Maybe you need to wait until after the children go to sleep, but however you can, let it work for you and your family.

Bubble Bath – Turn on relaxing music and allow yourself to soak in the solitude
Pedicure/Manicure – Pamper yourself for a couple hours
Read a Book–Find a park, sunset, hiking trail, or anything that will allow you to feel disconnected for a while
Take a Trip — Visit family or close friends for a couple days
Staycation — Book a hotel room for a night and spend 24 hours relaxing by yourself
Dinner – Take yourself out to dinner
Hobby – Close your door, put soft music on, and indulge in your hobby (painting, sewing, writing, reading, etc)
Girls Night Out – Find a fun activity and spend the evening enjoying what you love

These are only a few ideas I have been able to come up with based on other moms who have also taken time for themselves. If you have an idea, share it! Life is full of twists and turns as a mom.  If we are going to be on guard to whatever comes our way, we have to be willing to take time for ourselves even if all we can do in this season is “withdraw to lonely places and pray.”