I used to wonder what it would be like to be a kid again—enjoying the carefree mentality, playing all the time, having food prepared for you, and living in the simple joys of existing… until I had kids and became a stay at home mom.
In a crazy way, my desire to be a joyful child again is fulfilled every day I can laugh and play with my children. For example, making goofy faces with each other or singing silly made-up songs, or playing hide and seek, or dressing up like Batman and fighting invisible bad guys, or cuddling baby dolls, or coloring through an entire coloring book in the span of one hour. Life is fun with children, especially when I am a part of their world, their imagination, and their joyful laughter.
But, if I am honest, sometimes I miss my world. My adult world.
My responsibilities, my hobbies, my assignments, my budgets, my silent mornings, my errands, and yes, even my laundry.
I miss my adult world, because, whether I want to embrace it or not, I have moved passed childhood. The thrills, games, and excitement of childhood no longer fulfill me as they once did.
But, they fulfill my children, and my children need their childhood.
As a Stay-at-Home-Mom, I find myself being “burned out” on childish ways more often than I’d like to admit. Understand me though, I am not burned out on my children (although, every mother needs to make time for herself!). Being a Stay-at-Home-Mom means spending time with my children from the moment they wake up, to the moment they go to sleep at night, and that, my friends, can be very, very exhausting.
At first I felt guilty feeling so tired so often, and then I became frustrated, because I couldn’t understand why I was so tired, which led to feeling discouraged as if life would be this way for as long as I had children.
The truth is, we, as moms, are not children and will never be personally satisfied with every day full of childish activities. We love our children, we love being present for them, loving on them, and playing with them, but asking an adult to behave like a child every day will likely result in exhaustion and unfulfillment, and even worse, a resentment towards our very own adult responsibilities.
For instance, only within my children’s very short 1-2 hour naps do I attempt to squeeze a day’s worth of responsibilities into my routine. The rest of the day I am pouring myself into my children’s lives through endless activities and conversation. Can you relate?
Paul addresses this distinct separation between being a child and an adult in regards to spiritual maturity. He said, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me” (1 Corinthians 13:11).
Just as our children need their innocent childhood, so also do we as new Christians need pure spiritual milk. However, we cannot remain on the spiritual diet of a child. We must be willing to “grow up in our salvation” (1 Peter 2:2). If we are not growing in our spiritual maturity, we will find ourselves becoming “burned out” on childish understanding without ever experiencing the solid spiritual food God offers us.
In fact, Paul addresses those who should have already been feasting on the meat of the Word, but instead still need milk. “For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the basic principles of the oracles of God. You need milk, not solid food, for everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, since he is a child. But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil” (Hebrews 5:11-14 emphasis added).
In other words, when we neglect the constant spiritual practice and training necessary to mature in our faith, we find ourselves repetitively participating in the behaviors and activities of a spiritual child.
As a Christian, we have to be willing to set time aside to mature in our faith. This means spending time in prayer, asking and releasing forgiveness, committing ourselves to learning the Scriptures, engaging in church, and trusting the training and instruction of the Holy Spirit.
As for us moms who find ourselves participating more in the activities of our children instead of fulfilling our roles as adults, take a deep breath and relax. Our children are designed to be children and should always be encouraged to be children; however, it is important that we, too, are allowing ourselves to be adults. Create windows throughout the day to take care of your responsibilities, arrange childcare to allow for you to indulge in your hobbies, or consider a Mother’s Day Out program that will allow you to have a few hours to yourself each week.
Regardless of how you creatively find solutions, the profound revelation remains the same— children should be children, and adults should be adults.