But, I promise I won’t look mom!

My son is really into super heroes right now, and his eyes love to search for anything Spider Man, Captain America, Batman, or the Hulk. Recently though, he discovered my husband’s Marvel books that list every single Marvel character created, their special powers, and pictures of how their character has evolved over the decades.

If you aren’t familiar with every Marvel character (superhero AND villain), then you may not know there are some fairly evil and intense looking characters. Some villains resemble demon-like appearance, while others reflect nightmare appealing creatures. In other words, the books are not age-appropriate for my young son. So, when he first discovered the books hidden away in the guest room’s bookshelf, he was drawn immediately to the pages within.

Thankfully, I was already cleaning in the room when I noticed him quickly pull the books off the shelves and begin to scan the characters. After realizing the images of the villains were intertwined with the images of some of the super heroes, I placed the books out of reach and kindly shared with him that there were some “yucky” bad guys he didn’t need to see right now.

He became upset and his desire to view the books grew day after day. So, to help control his temptation to seek out the books without my permission, I located some super heroes on my own, marked them, and shared the cool pictures of only the super heroes I approved of while he was in my presence. Afterward, I put the books back out of reach, and we moved on…

Or so I thought…

Several days later I had to return to the guest room to put a few things away, and my son followed me into the room. He immediately noticed the books had been returned to the shelves by my husband, and before I crossed the room, he had already pulled one out and flipped it open, not surprisingly to a demon-like villain.

When I reached where he was sitting on the floor, I again explained to him why he could not look at these books by himself and why I needed to put them away.

He begged and pleaded with me before he tried one last effort to convince me,

“But I promise I won’t look at the bad guys, mom. Only good guys, ok? I promise. Please just let me do it.”

I responded with, “Hunny, you aren’t even capable of making that promise, because you don’t know where the good guys are in this book.”

“Yes I do! I promise I won’t look mom!”

As I shut the book, my mind immediately shifted to the promises I had once made to God in the past that probably sounded as foolish, if not more so, than my toddler’s promise to me. Chances are, you have probably made some foolish promises to God, too. Do these sound as familiar to you as they do to me?

“God, if you’ll just let me have this job, I promise I will read my Bible daily.”

“God, if You’ll just let this man fall in love with me, I promise I won’t have sex until I am married.”

“God, if You’ll just take away this financial debt we’ve been in, I promise I won’t ask for anything else!”

“God, if You’ll just take away this disease, then I promise I will start going to church every Sunday.”

God if you will just do this for me, then I promise I will do that for you.

The sad part is, these promises set us up for disaster every time we make them. When we don’t get the job, or a particular man doesn’t fall in love with us, or our debt gets worse, or our sicknesses linger longer, we turn our backs on God and blame Him for not doing His part in the success of our lives.

When my son made a promise I knew he was incapable of keeping, I didn’t think twice of reconsidering my position. Not only can he not read, nor does he understand the Table of Contents to look for superheroes, but my son also cannot tell the difference between every “bad guy” and “good guy”.  In fact, in a book that contains over 100 Marvel characters, my son would maybe be able to identify five. Maybe.

If I were to say yes to his foolish promise, I would be setting my son up for disaster. He would see images that would circle around and terrify him at bedtime, he would be exposed to scenes and images his mind is not capable of comprehending, his innocence and purity of mind would be compromised a little more, images of partially naked female characters would take root in his mind regardless if he understood it now, and perhaps worse of all, he would feel the rush of adrenaline as his desire to view the book was fulfilled, igniting an even deeper desire to come back to the book each time he craves something “new” to explore.  And, I don’t know about you, but setting my son up for this kind of multi-consequential disaster is not the quality I want to have as his mom.

You may be thinking I am overreacting at this point; but sadly, this is only a fraction of the dangers that occur when a child is not protected from his own ignorant pursuits. My son’s promise to “not look at the yucky bad guys” did not overpower my desire and will to protect him and his innocence at all costs. Just as I desired for my son to be protected, so also does our God desires for us to be protected. And when we approach Him with stipulations within our promises, we are asking God to step down from His position of being our faithful and loving Father.

And, when we make promises to God as our way to receive something from Him, it is a clear indicator that we are not living in the fullness and freedom of Jesus. I love what the Bible says in James chapter one when addressing those who are asking God for wisdom. It says to the person who asks with doubt, “that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (v. 7-8). When we give up things without the Lord’s leading, we usually end up in legalism and self-righteousness, and eventually in bitterness.

Contrary to being double-minded in our requests to God,  living in freedom with Jesus means trusting God regardless of the outcomes and always expecting Him to take care of our needs according to His plans and purposes. It means reading the Bible daily, even if God doesn’t grant us the job. It means saving sex until marriage even if God doesn’t allow a particular man to fall in love with us. It means believing God for His best in our lives, even if He doesn’t pull us out of our financial crisis right away. And it means attending church and worshiping God even if He doesn’t heal us in exchange. The point is, living in freedom means there are no stipulations for our obedience and our praise to God. God is always worthy to be exalted and always on His throne to be worshiped. Our foolish promises to Him are just that:  foolish.

And as a mother of a child who presented me with a foolish promise of his own, I praise God for having mercy and compassion on me while I, too, presented Him with promises I was incapable of keeping. Our God is a faithful Father and living in freedom comes with understanding that His promises are the only ones worth repeating.